A Friend

A quick muse on what a true friend is. In picture form, the full text of the quote is beneath the picture.

A Friend is not an Acquaintance.

A friend is not someone that you simply hang out with.

A friend is someone who grows and builds, prays and serves, loves and works,  laughs, cries,  and cheers with you, for you and about you.

A friend is very rarely someone you meet online.

And I'll be honest, true friends? I have less than a dozen.

But I'm lucky. I know people who have none.

True friends can't be defined by some quippy meme.

True friends are defined by their complete and total dependence and fellowship with each other.

Friends are those people who you can honestly say that would not only be boring, or lame, but they are the people that you would miss.

Not only in the good times.

But when you need their prayer.

Defining a Godly Man

     Last week Klipsie shared scripture’s definition of a godly woman. This week, I am going to run down what a godly man is. First though, a quick definition of terms. For the purpose of this article, when I say "man" I am referring to the ideal man, a godly man. When I say "boy" I am referring to a male, regardless of age, who does not demonstrate the qualities of a man. A "guy" is a male, regardless of their maturity or how closely they align to the biblical picture of a man.

     There are quite a few Scriptures that demonstrate what a man is. 1 Timothy 3, the latter half of Ephesians 5, Proverbs 31:1-9 and much of Proverbs in general. All of these will contain lists of requirements, goals to be achieved and attitudes to be displayed. I am going to look at the overarching themes in scripture, not only what a godly man is, but also what a godly person in general looks like. So, even if you are not a guy, please read. As one of my parent’s old pastors used to say, “This is not a pitchfork [post],” meaning that this isn’t something you can shove off on someone else because you don’t need it.

      A pertinent question in today’s society regards the dress of a man. What should a man wear? The things that are honoring to Christ, and those thing that will not harm others or cause others to stumble. We are also to dress in manner that displays care and appropriateness for our environment. That’s a lot of abstract principles; “give me a list” is a frequent request. There is no list. God did not say, “Don’t wear your pants so that your underwear shows”; rather, He told us to act in a manner worthy of the calling we have received. So, the most I can give you legalistically is this: don’t show what is meant to be covered, and don’t cause your sisters in Christ to stumble because of your pride in you chiseled physique.

     Guys have a problem with pride. We are programmed to protect and lead, but the fallen nature of man corrupts that. Men are to be firm in their beliefs, but meek and humble, seeking to make others higher than themselves. Men, unlike the world sees them, are not to be stoic or brutal. Men are not to be stones without feeling either. Men are to be compassionate and loving. Christ was the perfect picture of a godly man, through the gospels we see Him cry, pray, serve, and love. Men are not emotionless, but rather capable of providing a firm foundation for others.

     Men are not to be overly concerned with their physical strength. We never see Christ work out in Scripture, but on the flip side we see Him traverse hundreds of miles and spend forty days in the desert with no food. A balance has to be struck between health and obsession.

     A man also keeps his thoughts pure, avoids the things he shouldn't pay attention to, and seeks the things he should. He uses discretion in his company and the things he sees, hears and reads in order to maintain a pure heart.

     A man is a leader. I am taking a college course right now on biblical leadership. The working definition of leadership in the course is being a good steward of your gifts and talents and influencing others to create change. A man is not bossy, domineering or pushy. A true man knows how to serve others, but still point them in the direction they need to go.

     In conjunction with that, guys also are required to be the leaders of their homes, when they have them. A guy is responsible for the physical and spiritual well-being of his wife and children. A man takes that responsibility and applies true, biblical, servant leadership to it. He serves his wife and children as well as teaching them. A man allows and encourages the endeavors of his wife, they are a team, and he is the head of the team. The complementing roles of husband and wife fill perfectly the needs of children when the roles are executed by godly men and women.

      Finally, as you have probably seen from the trends so far, a true godly man is a man after God’s heart. He doesn’t always do things perfectly, but he always repairs any wrongs he commits and focuses on serving others. He loves the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength. And he focuses on building and creating good and godly relationships on earth.

Leaping Lizard

Godly Woman

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

Proverbs 31:10, KJV

     I honestly don’t feel worthy to write this article on what a godly woman looks like. Because let me tell you, this isn’t a picture of me. But I pray that God humbles and uses me, a hypocrite, to paint an accurate portrait of a godly woman, glorifying to Him.

     A godly woman holds a distinct posture and dress, very set apart from the world. She is clothed not merely with outward apparel, but “with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4). This doesn't mean God only loves shy people who rarely smile and talk barely above a whisper, but that a godly woman should not be rambunctious and pushy. She is “reverent in behavior” (Titus 2:3-5).

     People should see her and think, “Wow. Where does she get that self-control? How do I teach my daughters to stay so quiet and calm?” not, “Wow. That girl is rowdy. How do I keep my daughters away from picking up on her boisterousness?” Both are influencing. But a godly woman inspires others to act like Christ, not like the world.

     CAUTION: The reason we should act like godly women should NOT be for the purpose of being seen by others! Our purpose is to reflect Christ. We will be seen, yes. But when we are, people should think, “Wow. What a difference. How can I be like that?” NOT “Wow. Look at her. She is so good.” We should direct people to Christ, not to ourselves.

     Proverbs 31:30 points out, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” That is what people see when they look her: the fear of the LORD, not of man. This does not mean she’s dressed frumpily, but she’s dressed in a way that is feminine and humble: glorifying to God and does not cause her brother to stumble, but allows them to look upon her as a sister in Christ. “Respectable apparel,” as 1 Timothy 2:9-10 puts it, “with modesty and self-control…with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.” Good works. That is what she clothes herself with if she truly is a Christian woman.

     Now here is an important aspect: a godly woman is submissive. (I could write a whole article on submission, but I can only touch on it now.) “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). Notice how this is not an option. It is a command. Men lead, women follow.

     Submission includes respecting (not slandering) one’s husband and all his decisions and yielding to them (as long as they are not causing you to sin) joyfully without grumbling. In fact, godly women’s submission should be so humble and so great that if their husbands are not believers, they would see the wives’ example and “be won without a word by the conduct of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1). It would lead them to Christ!  

     “Well, I’m not married yet,” you might say. Then you are still under your father’s authority, and you must submit to him (yes, even after you turn eighteen!), and the principles still apply.

     Jesus submitted to His Father’s will, even though He was equal with God. If a godly woman truly desires to reflect Christ, she must also submit.

           

     The godly woman’s home is, well, the home. She is a keeper at home. Contrary to popular belief, this is not a bad thing. It is God’s design. And she can perform a plethora of pursuits from the home.

     “She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong” (Proverbs 31:17). The verse is saying she does not simply lie inside in expensive dresses and worry about her nails. The Proverbs 31 woman is a staunch businesswoman working attentively along with looking well to the ways of her household. She works with her hands. She considers buying a field and makes a profit from planting. She sews and spins. She makes useful items around the house. She realizes she can sell her sewing, and she does. She is not afraid. She is prepared! She laughs at the future because she knows her hard work will pay off.

     Along with all this, she serves others and gives generously. She is diligent. She does not eat the bread of idleness. She does not spend hours on YouTube rabbit trails (no, that part actually isn’t in the ESV verbatim). She rises early while it is still night (ouch). You can be sure she looks respectable, yet doesn’t spend an hour stressing about her hair. She is trusted and loved by her family. And yet through all this, she submits to her husband and is his helpmeet. He is the breadwinner, but she can still make bread and sell it, too. Unmarried women, the same principles apply to you again; it is possible to stay at home, contribute to the family economy, and still have a respectable life.

     To touch quickly on a few more points, a godly woman “opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26). Not a word of gossip, slander, silliness, or grumbling is heard from her lips. Women are also commanded to teach the younger women, and “teens” are not excluded. Are there girls younger than you? Yes. Teach them. Set a godly example for them.

     The godly woman described in Proverbs 31 does her husband good all the days of her life. All the days of her entire life. This means pre-marriage, too. How? By keeping her heart pure and reserved for him, not flirting with someone else’s future husband, and by learning how to serve and work diligently.

           

     But above all the devotion to her husband, father, and family, a godly woman is fully dedicated to God. She serves and toils for Him, to glorify Him, to be His light in the darkness. Amidst all the work, she worships the Lord with gladness, devoting her time to prayer and praise, trusting in Him the whole way. He is her reason why.

     Now we are not perfect. We will fail. But we shall repent and strive to be this godly woman for His glory so “the word of God may not be reviled” (Titus 2:5). Let us walk in God’s model of a godly woman, and we will be far more precious than jewels in man’s and God’s sight.

Klipsie

All Scripture references are ESV unless otherwise indicated.

Sources and books for further reading:

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace

It’s (not that) Complicated by Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin

Woman after God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George

The Fruit of Her Hands by Nancy Wilson

God's Wimps Part 1

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”

2 Corinthians 4:7

       This is a continuation of my earlier article "The Mighty Men of God." That topic was a bit challenging considering God’s favorite people to use are wimps. He loves to use men and women most people would overlook. These next two articles I write will focus on the wimps, the outcast, the unlikeliest of heroes, and the sinner, God uses to advances His plans. I chose 2 Cor. 4:7 because I like how Paul says that we have a treasure in jar of clay. Clay jars were easy to make, a denarii a dozen. In Bible time they were the most common jar and if someone was putting a treasure in something they would use a jar made an alabaster or another sturdier vessel, but God chose to use lesser beings to accomplish His will. Not angels or famous people but ordinary humans with extraordinary potential.

       Moses is one of the most unlikely heroes. Not only is he a murder, but he also stuttered. When God called him, he made a whole list of excuses. If I was a shepherd and my daily work consisted of leading a bunch of sheep around, I'd probably be shocked if God not only talked directly to me and revealed Himself to me but also told me that I was going to lead His people to the promised land.

       Most of us want to know God’s plan for our life, but we’re not sure how to find it. One common misunderstanding is the idea that God’s guidance will come to us out of the blue, and it will have nothing to do with our plans or what we are already doing. Gideon is one of those people; he has a limited vision for what God can do and what he can do himself. His story starts with the Midianites, Amalekites and other eastern peoples invading Israel, stealing everything and destroying what they can’t carry. The Bible calls them "like swarms of locusts…they invaded the land to ravage it" (Judges 6:5). The Angel of the Lord came to Gideon, who was threshing wheat in a wine-press to keep it from the Midianites. Threshing is not done in a wine press; it usually done on a hill where the wind will blow away the chaff and the wheat grains will drop to the ground. Also when the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” Just saying, Gideon does not look like a mighty warrior to me, but God is able to use Him to free the Israelites from the hands of the Midianites. 

       Peter, like many of the disciples, was just a common fisherman, one of the lowest jobs on the Jewish totem pole. The job was hard, smelly, and paid little. The fishermen in Bible times were usually foul in smell and temperament, and on top of that, Peter had a terrible time keeping his temper under control. Yet he would go on to do extraordinary things in God's kingdom. Peter is the best example as he would be an apostle, a leader of the early church and he would write two letters in the Bible.

       Here are three excuses we give God for why we are wimps or why He can’t use us. Excuse one: We aren’t good speakers. The Lord's answer: “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say” (Exodus 4:11-12). Excuse two: We have no authority to get this done. God's answer: Our authority come from Him. "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God" (2 Timothy 1:7-8).* Excuse three: We fear rejection. God’s answer: He was rejected, too. “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated Me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed My teaching, they will obey yours also" (John 15:18-20).

Malachi

*Information and thoughts borrowed from a talk by Dr. Tommy Carrington at TeenPact National Convention 2013